


Helplessly Falling

by as_with_a_sunbeam



Series: Morristown [2]
Category: 18th Century CE RPF, Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: 1780, F/M, Morristown
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-25
Updated: 2017-02-25
Packaged: 2018-09-26 19:00:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,196
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9916538
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/as_with_a_sunbeam/pseuds/as_with_a_sunbeam
Summary: Love at first sight is a fittingly romantic tale for Eliza's children, but it isn't entirely the truth. The memories of toy soldiers, hiccups, and wine soaked kisses are for her, alone.





	

The smile stretching Eliza’s cheeks was starting to hurt, but she couldn’t seem to wipe the expression from her face. Hamilton’s face was flushed slightly, whether from the wine, or the roaring fire, or both, she wasn’t sure. His pupils were blown wide. His lips were stained with red. She wanted him to kiss her.

“Then what happened?” he asked, leaning in towards her on the rug before the fire.

She tried desperately to remember what story she’d been telling him. Her aunt and uncle had retired to bed early tonight, unexpectedly leaving her alone with her suitor. Hamilton had produced the bottle of wine and two glasses, and plopped down before the fire with a grin. She’d joined him eagerly, sitting closer than was strictly proper for two young people with no chaperone.

She tried to pull her eyes away from his lips. It was difficult. “Um… then… Angelica… Angelica told Papa that the ceramic duck had never been there at all.”

That was supposed to be an amusing end to an engaging tale from her youth. Hamilton smiled, but he didn’t laugh uproariously as people usually did. Was he distracted too? She shifted on the rug, her whole body tingling. How could she get him to kiss her? She imagined him leaning in, wondered what it would feel like to run her fingers through his hair or to bite his full lower lip. Was that normal?  

“Would you like more wine?” he asked huskily.

She nodded. He took the glass from her, his fingertips brushing over the back of her hand. She shifted on the rug again. She hoped he couldn’t hear her breathing.

The wine bottle was almost empty. He poured equal measures out into both of their glasses and handed hers back. She took a sip and watched him do the same.

“You…you must tell a story from your childhood, now, Colonel Hamilton. It’s your turn,” she managed to say.

His smile went a touch melancholy. “I’m afraid I don’t have any amusing tales from my childhood, Miss Schuyler. At least, none such as you have shared.”

“You never pulled a prank on your parents? Got yourself into a scrape for fun?” she pressed. He was so sunny and playful, she thought he must have done something of that sort as a boy.

He shook his head. “We were…very poor. I spent a lot of time helping Mama with the store. And then, after…well, I didn’t have much time for frivolity.”

Her heart felt sore at the idea of his suffering. His mama ran a store? She filed that away in the back of her mind, where she stored all the other little details he’d let slip over the past few weeks. And the after…she could imagine what he’d meant by that. His mother had died. He’d been orphaned and alone.

Her distress must have shown on her face, because he immediately tried to comfort her. “You mustn’t think I was unhappy. I had a very happy childhood. Mama and Papa kept food on the table and a roof over our heads.”

He seemed to be racking his brain for a good story to tell. His whole face lit up a moment later. “Our store mostly sold flour, sugar, eggs, other staples for the islanders. But sometimes we’d get little nick-knacks, books or toys. When I was eight, Mama acquired a toy soldier. It was beautifully crafted. It had a brilliant red coat and a play sword on its waist. I used to stare at it for hours, but I was never allowed to touch. It couldn’t be damaged, you see? Someone would pay good money to buy that soldier for one of the boys in the plantation houses.”

She nodded, picturing that little toy soldier and the small boy staring longingly at it on the shelf.

“One day, I came downstairs, and the little toy soldier was gone. I was heartbroken. Even if I couldn’t play with it, I’d loved looking at that little doll. But then, that night at dinner, Mama gave me a wrapped package. I knew, even before I’d ripped off the paper, what it was. My little toy soldier. She’d bought it for me. She’d saved up for weeks and weeks for that silly toy.”

Eliza felt a grin on her face, even as her chest felt curiously tight. She was so glad he’d gotten that toy. The memory made his eyes light up with joy.

“Do you still have it?” she asked.

The smile dimmed on his face. “No,” he shook his head. “When Mama died, all her things were seized by the probate court. I couldn’t keep anything but my clothes.”

They’d taken his soldier? Her hand gripped his tightly to give comfort. “That’s horrible.”

“I’m quite all right, now, Miss Schuyler, I assure you.”

She couldn’t imagine losing all tangible connections to her childhood. She had a quilt her Mama made out of all her baby clothes. Several rag dolls still sat on the window sill of her childhood bedroom. Her favorite was the one Angelica had torn the head from in a fit of rage when Eliza had ruined a pretend tea party. Mama had sown the head back on with special thread and had given her a scrap of red silk ribbon as a little scarf to cover the stitches. Angelica’s face been livid with anger and jealousy at the fancy fabric on her rag doll.

“It’s still horrible,” she told him seriously.

He looked deeply into her eyes and nodded his agreement. She bit her lip as she leaned forward. The intimacy of the moment and the bottle of wine made her feel she was in a dream. She knew it was going to happen. He was going to kiss her.

Her face was close to his. She could smell the wine on his breath. Her eyes fluttered closed and she puckered her lips.

He hiccuped.

Her eyes popped open and she leaned back in surprise. His cheeks went bright red and a hand flew to cover his mouth. “I’m so sorry, Miss Schuyler. I…” Another hiccup interrupted his apology.

She burst out laughing. His eyes clenched shut, like he wanted the earth to swallow him whole. She felt immensely fond. The little squeak of his hiccups, the bright blush on his cheeks. He was so adorable she couldn’t contain herself.

She kissed him.

~*~

Decades later, she sat beside her younger daughter in the parlor. The girl had a dreamy look on her face even an hour after her young Mr. Holly had left the house.

“When did you know you were in love with Papa?” her daughter asked her.

“I loved your Papa from the first moment I saw him,” she said, her standard reply.

But a smile had tugged at her lips as she remembered that night by the fire. Love at first sight is a fittingly romantic tale for her children. It’s not entirely a lie; she’d been drawn to him from the beginning. But that wasn’t love, not really.

The memories of toy soldiers, hiccups, and wine soaked kisses are for her, alone.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! Feedback always appreciated!


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